Excerpts from Liverpool Limericks
by Jerry Markison
with illustrations by Dan Archer
Trial by Water
A plumber with previous, Jock,
One day got a watery shock.
He fell off the Pier Head
And reflected with dread,
"I always go down from the dock!"
Old Doddy's so "tattyfilarious".
His talents are many and various:
He can sing, tell a joke.
Spread cheer to all folk,
And his tax return's bloody hilarious!
Majorly Hot Currie
Edwina once penned a bestseller
About her affair with some feller.
She wrote, "Caution forbids
Any thoughts about kids,
For my eggs might contain salmonella!"
A Heroine To Many
A young lady from Southport, Aretha,
Had always thought selling beneath her.
She now gets a buzz
From outwitting the fuzz
Distributing drugs round Ibiza!